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3 Step Formula On How To Get a Girlfriend
For the Quick Start version of this article, skip directly to step 3.
1. Let Your Love Be a Friend.
I think the goal for most guys in this community is to just have a girlfriend. They don’t want to sleep with jerks, they don’t want to have 5-somethings, they don’t want to be with 20 women at once. These things are great, but at the end of the day they just want one perfect woman to be with. However, they don’t just want a girlfriend, they really want a girlfriend…
Here’s the most frustrating thing about this… The more you want to be in a relationship, the harder it is to get into one. It’s the most anti-conceptual, anti-product of the dating world. There are many reasons why this is so true. For one, the intense desire to be with a woman will KILL your game. You can…
– Be poor. This includes the biggest phone, the need to spend a lot of time with him and give him a lot of attention. He thinks “it’s too big, too fast” and panics.
– Don’t be. You might get angry if he doesn’t call you, if he decides to go clubbing with his friends, or if he cancels plans with you. You might feel jealous if you see her talking to other guys, or even looking at other guys.
– Be sure to try. Since you want him to like you, you can always point yourself out, try to say and do things to please him, try not to disturb you , it turns out that it is very difficult for him to like you.
– Reading too much into things. You can analyze and focus on the most important things. Say you’ll meet him at the bar, but don’t talk to you right away, he’ll go talk to his friends for a few minutes. You might get confused, read too much into the situation, and think that he doesn’t like you anymore.
All in all, if you really want a girl to be your girlfriend, 1 of 1 women you see right now, you will find a way to compromise. So the first thing you need to do is let go of your desire to have a girlfriend. When you do this, a lot of pressure will be removed from your shoulders and most of your problems in attracting women will disappear. Again, it’s very rebellious.
Many people reading this will find it hard to let go. To those guys, let’s revisit this topic by explaining what it means to have a girlfriend…
Having a girlfriend will not make your problems go away
One thing you need to understand is that having a girlfriend will not solve your problems. If you are worried, sad, or depressed about life, a woman cannot take these feelings alone. Make no mistake, the beginnings of a relationship are like a wave of excitement. Sex is amazing, connecting with a woman on a deep level, having fun and being passionate – it’s all amazing.
But after this honeymoon phase, life will return… The problems you had before you met your girlfriend will come back to life. It comes from negative self-beliefs, past problems, worries about the future, etc. Your new girlfriend can’t magically remove these from your life.
So you have to honestly ask yourself if you are in a relationship even with a woman. For example, do you still go to the gym? Do you have a favorite group of friends? Do women have outside hobbies and interests? Do you have life goals that you are working towards? Is all the BS in your head stuck? If you answered no to any of these questions, having a girlfriend is the LAST thing on your mind.
Having a girlfriend can ruin your life
You may be more able to take on new challenges now that you’re in a relationship. Remember, your girlfriend’s problems ARE YOUR problems now that you are in a relationship. If he has financial problems, drama with his family and friends and his own bad things in his head, you have to do the same.
Relationships are always on the road so you will also face fights, jealousy issues and all kinds of stress that couples face at some level. It often takes a lot of work and sacrifice on both sides to be successful.
A lot of people think about these things. Do you have the space to handle all these stresses? Are you ready to handle Crazy Uncle Charlie every time you go with him to a family gathering? Are you ready to devote all your time and attention to ONE woman?
A girlfriend is the last thing you need right now
If you’re a single man who doesn’t know enough about women, having a girlfriend is the last thing on your mind. Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely a final goal to work towards, but do your best to get there.
Having a girlfriend means denying the opportunity to meet other women. If you haven’t been with many women in the past, why are you willing to settle for just one now? Enjoy the freedom you have now and enjoy the graduate experience to the fullest. The last thing you want is to be in a long-term relationship and regret that you didn’t live when you had the chance. This is bad for you and your girlfriend. Women don’t want their boyfriends to fantasize about other women, to sit around watching the rituals, or to catch their “eyes of wonder” when they’re at a restaurant. Get these things out of your system so you finally have a girlfriend you can be confident that no other woman wants to be with.
You don’t really know what you want in a relationship
If you’ve never had a girlfriend before, chances are you don’t really know what you want in a woman. You may think that you are attracted to introverts but when you start dating one you realize that it is boring. You may think you like foreign women, but cultural differences can be difficult to overcome.
Trust me, whatever you dream of in your head is completely different from how it is in real life. The only way to know what you want from a long-term partner is to experience many women for yourself. Once you know what kind of woman is right for you, you can have a much better chance of long-term success in your future relationship.
2. Learn To Like Women In General
The next step in getting a girlfriend is learning to be nice to women in general. For most people out there, it takes time and effort. Ignite is a step-by-step tutorial on how to do this. This seems pretty simple, but just follow the freakin’ instructions in that program to TEE and you’ll have this step covered. This topic is too large to be discussed in depth in this article.
Basically, you want to put yourself in a place where you see 3 women. This means you are sitting once, MAYBE twice a week…
As long as you are seeing different women, you don’t care what happens to any of them. You’re not poor, you’re not careless, you’re not always giving up and focusing on one woman, you’re not interested in being alone. Ironically, this very idea is what attracts women in the first place.
3. Choose a girlfriend from a handful of women you see.
Once you see a few different women, you will be in the best position to enter a relationship. There are several reasons why this…
– You can choose the best woman from the hand that you have touched.
– You are not afraid that he will leave you.
– You will not be safe and you will not be enough.
– You won’t be jealous when he talks to other people.
– You don’t get too emotional and work on any BS between the two of you.
– You will not be poor or stuck.
– He respects you because you are like a man.
– He will know that you can get other women so that he will not be interested in you.
– Finally, finally….
This all adds up to having a SOLID foundation for a long-term relationship with the woman you’re crazy about…
Now the question arises how do you turn things from casually seeing a woman to having a relationship with her?
One thing you MUST know is that you don’t push for a relationship in the first place. Your mind should be like this: “Right now I’m happy with the time that’s coming. I’m happy with it and I’m feeling really good. time and just letting things go. If it continues scary and engaging things like relationships, and then we’ll see what happens.” The women you date need to feel this way about you.
Then again, let things happen… I mean don’t think about a relationship if you’ve been with him 10 times.
This means checking her out and making sure she is the type of woman you want to be committed to. After the first date, you haven’t really met her yet… You’ve met her first personality. This is different from what he does every day. Get to know him over time and give him a chance to do the same. Time and experience will bring you together.
Most men try to shut women down. They don’t see a woman, so someone focuses on them and tries to protect her. It’s like finding a bug and trying to keep it from disappearing. You don’t think so.
The metaphor is, open the palm, let the baby sit on it, and just appreciate each moment it is there. If it flies, it flies. When you try to hug the butterfly and make it yours, it flies away.
Women are very similar. When you try to tie him up by forcing a relationship, he runs away. Just appreciate each moment and day as it comes and don’t look away from it. No point, women hate that. Make him feel free to leave all the time, and let him decide to stay with you.
So you only want to see one woman a week. You can call him once or twice during that week. You don’t want to talk on the phone all night like little school girls. For example call him and say “Hey, remember that crazy guy from the job I told you about. You won’t believe what happened…” Say the quick story and talk to and you must go. That’s it.
You want to be unpredictable. Call him on Sunday afternoon, then don’t call him for a few days. So called her on Saturday evening and asked her if she wanted to meet for a few hours. He should wait for your call and be happy when you do.
This is not a game. You should definitely see other girls on days when you are not with her. A lot of people are thinking “Yeah… So I don’t have to call him for two days… Good manners Tony!” So they sit by the phone and refrain from calling at this time. When calling, feeling excited or nervous…
If things are still going well, stay twice a week. Also, maybe call him twice this time. Ask her out of nowhere and have something funny or interesting to say. Don’t look at every time you call or text as an opportunity to schedule a date. Let go of the value and stupidity…
Then switch things up to three times a week, then four. When you spend four times a week together and see each other for several months, it’s impossible to go into a special relationship. Trust me, if he sees you he will want you as his partner.
In my experience what it does is to get him to the point where he’s dying to be in a relationship with you, then smile and say “You know what? I’ve decided you’re going to be girlfriend… Oh and I have no choice.” Now remember to have a lot of fun, but at the same time he needs to know that you are serious. He will be so happy and excited that you two will be independent and he will brag to all his friends about it.
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