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Romance Novelist Dr. Diana Gives Advice on Relationships
Interview by Irene Watson, Managing Director of Reading Insights, and Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of “Opening the Door of Love: Seven Lessons.”
Irene: Reader Views Dr. Diana Kirschner is happy to be with us today. Dr. Kirschner is a psychologist and author of “Opening Love’s Door: The Seven Lessons” a romantic journey that offers relationship advice and seven life-changing lessons. The book is quickly becoming a cult classic: women and men readers are giving five-star reviews for opening the door to love.
Welcome Dr. Diana.
Irene: What inspired you to write a book considering that the other books you wrote were fiction?
Diana: This book was a gift to me–the story, the characters, all the magic that came to mind. Writing Open the Door of Love has helped me dig into the many lessons I’ve learned, the healing experiences that have brought love and joy into my life. I am the fifth daughter born to Sicilian parents in the old world that did not honor girls. After I was born, my father never came to the hospital to see me–after all, I was an outcast, a girl. So when I grew up I was isolated, shy, quiet, had few friends and was very depressed. But my recovery was a kind of magic with a wise man who acted like a surrogate father to me. He is my fairy godfather. She taught me the secrets of finding love, both for myself and a good partner–and how to help my clients create love and happiness. This is the person who inspired Raphaela Love, the fairy princess in Opening Love’s Door.
Irene: Did the lessons in the book change your life?
Diana: Yes. My first lesson was to use my fear as a foundation for growth. I was pushed out of my shell, I was forced to talk, to talk to people, first one to one, then in larger groups. I went to graduate school in psychology, it was very difficult and difficult, but I managed to finish it. I ended up being on Oprah, Good Morning America and Sally Jesse Raphael as a guest expert. I almost died from panic attacks on the road. But I have become a leader. In the first lesson of the book, Janna, the heroine, learns that Fear lights the way to mastery, that is, what you fear is what you must face.
Irene: I think that one lesson helped many people.
Diana: It’s amazing. You can use your fear to drive you to do the right thing–to help you jump off the diving board where you need to go. I get so many wonderful emails. One person is agoraphobic. He was too scared to leave the house, with the windows boarded up. After reading the opening of the door of love, not only is she out, but she has three husbands. Another woman stood by her nobleman husband and demanded that he apologize to her for his rude speech. And a manager who was afraid to pull the trigger on a big project at work, launched the project, and ended up making a lot of money. When you face your inner and outer demons, you swallow them and give you power.
Irene: You are struggling to face the people who have wronged you. Janna, the character in your book, confronts her uncle who has abused her since she was ten years old. Why do you think moving forward in the past and moving forward in the world is such a big deal?
Diana: The past becomes the future if you don’t act. You have to face your inner and outer demons. You need to feel what you’re feeling, whether it’s anger, sadness, or grief, and talk about it to release those issues and past emotions. So you can be free to create the person you want.
Irene: Your book, Opening Love’s Door, talks about seven secrets to creating love and happiness in one’s life. Of the seven, who is the greatest?
Diana: You can go home and that’s the biggest thing. This is the strategy that changed my life and that of thousands. What I’m talking about is getting a fairy godmother or godfather, a helper who will give you good experiences, make sure you’re lost. According to Raphaela Love, you can heal childhood wounds and create the life you’ve always dreamed of, if you build strong healing relationships.
Irene: But those other self-help books talk about how you can’t rely on other people to give you what you need – you have to do it yourself, right?
Diana: Yes. And on one level it is true. But you can move quickly on the road to love by letting someone like a fairy godmother give you what you missed growing up. With the help of a fairy mother/father the ‘impossible’ in the world of love is possible.
Irene: How do you do it?
Diana: Think about what you missed as a child. Free love? Love? Advice? Believe in yourself and help your dreams? Got a kick in the rear? Then find people who care about you and succeed in love and life, people you admire. Good mothers, parents, healers, leaders, ministers or rabbis can be fairy mothers/fathers. Choose one, create a relationship and ask for the kind or difficult care you need. Practice seeing yourself the way they see you: a person with poetry in his soul, a useful person, loving and beautiful. This self-love will turbocharge your love life. In my short Amazon review, The Ultimate Guide to Getting the Love You Want, a companion e-book to Opening the Door of Love, I describe exactly how to go about get a teacher like this.
Irene: Raphaela Love is a wonderful person. Where did you get that name from?
Diana: I was reading about the angel Raphael, the angel of salvation. He is called poetry. Then I saw this revelation about one of Raphael’s wives, Raphaela Love, who was a magical healer but at the same time a normal person.
Irene: The second lesson in Opening the Door of Love is when you face death, love blossoms. Tell us about it.
Diana: Our greatest emotional fear and our deepest teacher is the fear of isolation and abandonment. This fear of being alone is the master. Otherwise, we just turn on other people and allow ourselves to be attached to them and get caught up in them. This keeps us in bad or bad relationships. We must stand up for what is needed, even if it means losing someone. At that exact moment we really love ourselves. And many times because of that energy the stranger gets up and loves more. Recently, I had a case where a woman who was obsessed with her husband decided to leave her if he didn’t change. He immediately asked her to marry him. When you die, love grows.
Irene: The third lesson in opening the door of love, God is waiting for your request every day. Tell us about that.
Diana: The spiritual connection is always there for us. All that needs to be done is to study spiritually. This may include prayer, reading a spiritual book, practicing yoga, or attending a 12-step program. The goal of spirituality is to connect with everything around you, whether you call it God, Nature, or your Higher Power as you experience it. When you feel that connection all the time, you feel less lonely and poor. You will never die for love. You will experience being a “nest of the goddess,” a peaceful state of root. Therefore, I recommend some form of spiritual practice every day, even if it’s just fifteen minutes. Do it for a week and see what a difference it makes!
Irene: Opening the door of love, Janna, the heroine, learns a spiritual practice called being-in-the-moment. How do you do that?
Diana: Living-on-the-spot is an outdoor concept that is simple, fun and easy. Think of the Japanese tea ceremony, where the teapot and cups are placed, the tea is poured, the tea is slowly blown, where things are done in peace, thoughtfulness and beauty. For 15 minutes a day, take the time to walk in time. Use all your attention. First focus on things you don’t see very often, such as water pipes, road surfaces, grass surfaces, or water sources. Go slowly, be careful, pay attention to something close to you, and when you pass, let it go and choose someone else. Think about the object of your attention so that you are completely one. Eventually, you’ll come out of the mental chatter that’s clouding your memory and go all in on the moment. You will also be connected to the Whole. When that happens, you know you’re not alone. You will be happier, brighter and more beautiful.
Irene: It seems that most people who read your book can’t put it down once they start reading it. What do you think catches their attention?
Diana: I think because they know the main character so well, they seem to care about what happens to him. And there are many twists and turns in the story.
Irene: Opening the Door of Love is becoming a religious practice like the Celestine Prophet. After its release it immediately hit the Amazon Buzz list and stayed there for weeks. People are obsessed with books, they use them for book clubs and buy ten copies to give to their friends. They say it tells them a deep story about love and life.
Diana: I’ve been blessed to learn from many of the clients I’ve had over the years, and their teachings have come through.
Irene: Thank you for your time Dr. Diana. Is there anything you would like to add to this interview that would be of interest to our readers?
Diana: People can visit my website, http://www.openinglovesdoor.com for more information, articles, and e-links.
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